Denial of Self
by Evil-Irish-Wolf
Summary: Draco ponders on the dark side, self deceit, Pansy, and werewolves.  Het! Vaguely implied DMPP.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own it. Any of it.

**Warnings: **Some cursing not a lot. A little slanted towards the Dark side, nothing to bad.

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**Denial of Self**

If there was one thing that Draco Malfoy hated, it was people who were in denial over themselves. People that were ashamed of who they truly were so they tried to be someone more "normal." Even worse were the people who were ignorant to their own true selves. Those were the worst kind of self deceivers.

It was disgusting the way that most of the members of the Light paraded themselves about. They strutted around as if they were purely perfect human beings. They had no flaws, no imperfections, and no abnormalities. Yet, no one was perfect. So why did they see the need to establish themselves as such. It made absolutely no sense at all and after a while it was as if they were all the same person. He really, truly, honestly detested people like that more than anything else in the world.

That was one thing he loved about _his_ side. On the Dark side everyone was who they truly were. No one was the same. Yes, sometimes you had to look under some of the perfectly positioned Slytherin masks that they all wore, but no one was in denial over themselves. Everyone knew _exactly_ who they were and, more importantly, what they were capable of.

Professor Snape was a prime example. He was a teacher and as such he was suppose to be objective and, at the very least, _appear_ to be supportive of all of his students. Yet, he never did any of those things because that wasn't who he was. He wasn't a nice man. He didn't give handouts and he most definitely didn't baby children around hoping that they would learn. He was a conniving, resourceful, snarky bastard. Even Potter and his gang could see that. Draco had to admire the absolute gall that it must take to go up against every teacher and student in this place on a daily basis.

Pansy Parkinson was also a great example. She knew that she wasn't the prettiest girl in the world, but she more than made up for it in the wit and personality department. That girl could insult better and faster than he could. The speed at which insults flew from her mouth was incredible. Draco usually had a challenge keeping up, but she kept his mind sharp and he loved her for it. She knew that she wasn't blessed with the best facial features and she used that to her advantage. The other girls didn't see her as competition, so they would confide in her all of their secrets and problems. Then Pansy would promptly use those confessions against the girls to benefit herself. She really was an evil little snake. Draco loved that about her.

Even Draco himself knew who he was. He knew he was a spoiled, snobby, pompous asshole and he adored himself for it. He often used that to his advantage. Acting like a petulant child in front of the enemy made them underestimate you completely. Potter and his gang never knew what he was really up to. They just saw a spoiled little child that was obnoxious, but not the true enemy. It worked wonders and it was quite entertaining as well. So for now, Draco would just smirk and sneer and play the overlooked school rival. Until his true self was to be shown, then Potter and his gang had better watch out.

Still, it may come as some surprise that the person that Draco admired most for being himself was Fenrir Greyback.

Not for the whole eating children thing. That obviously wasn't the werewolf's best quality. No, what Draco admired about him was that the man had taken a crippling curse and flipped it into a positive attribute. He had the durability and mental strength to remain in control of his wolf. The sheer determination and willpower that it must have taken to take control of a beast like that was mind boggling. The werewolf showed versatility and adaptability to any situation. Like that Muggle saying goes, that's what you call turning a frown upside down.

Fenrir had had the fortitude to become something that defied all textbook knowledge and logic. He was a werewolf that could control of the wolf and its urges. Draco knew that people underestimated Greyback. They thought that he was just some bloodthirsty animal that was useful as a scare tactic. Yet, Greyback had almost the entire werewolf population under his command. That was hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people that trusted his judgment above all else. There had to be a reason. That's why Draco Malfoy made sure never to get in his way.

Remus Lupin pretended to be a harmless human because he was ashamed and, in Draco's opinion, a complete coward. Malfoys were a proud and slightly pretentious family and they didn't tolerate cowards. At least Fenrir Greyback didn't try and change who he was. He completely accepted himself, psycho child killer and all, and made the best of a horrifying situation. Fenrir did what he had to, to keep himself sane and in control of his fate. Any true Slytherin could see the merit of something like that. One had to have a healthy dose of self preservation if they wanted to get through this war.

That didn't mean that Draco approved of everything the psycho did. No, he just admired the man for not being in denial of himself. He didn't go gallanting around as another person just because people didn't like him.

That was one thing that the Light would never understand. If they wanted to wage a war of blood they must know what they are capable of; and pretending to be someone else wasn't going to cut it against an enemy that had the courage to be who they were meant to be.

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**A/N:** Yeah, that was random. 

Please read and review and tell me what you think.

--Not as good as my other stuff, but its alright I think.


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